I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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