Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
