I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
