Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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