do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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