TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
