Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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