i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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