can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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