Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
