i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
