so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Only a mothe r could love this liver
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i will never coherently bang her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
