Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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