but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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