At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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