his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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