Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
