my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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