so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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