Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
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My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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