sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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