Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Small penises have feelings too.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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