I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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