false alarm. still invincible.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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