She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize