Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
