Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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