i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No subtext here. People are naked.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
