can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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