Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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