The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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