Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
