They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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