you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
