just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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