high people should be assigned attendants
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
