Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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