Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm gonna have a badass scar
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
nutella sex= disaster
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
