i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
