GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
