Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
