hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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