I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
