i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
