Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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