I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
