where am i from again
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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