The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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