Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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