My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
