wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
