3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
