why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
