I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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