we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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