Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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