I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
