Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
